i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
