do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
