So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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