Swine flu. Run for my life!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
