love makes seman taste better
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
