i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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