This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
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