I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I didn't notice because vodka
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
