Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
