Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Randomize
