She said her name was "party"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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