But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
