i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
