how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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