Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
