He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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