Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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