Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
