white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
