I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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