he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
