The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
