I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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