my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
