Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
