wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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