exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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