dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
