when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
