My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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