office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
