So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
