I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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