I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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