I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
