Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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