Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
