If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
