did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
