I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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