If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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