You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
