At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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