But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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