bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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