Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
