Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I wish I only lived at night.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
