Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
