It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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