it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
