Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
