no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
