how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
